I’m pretty crazy about dolphins. It’s a love I’ve had since as far back as I can remember. I was even blessed enough to swim with them years ago.
My experience was all I had hoped for and more–their grace and beauty were overwhelming, and when one of them looked me in the eye, I’m pretty sure she saw right into my soul. She pretty much communicated “I see you,” like in the movie Avatar. Powerful stuff.
It was also a whole lot of fun. Breathtaking fun.
I think that’s part of my love for dolphins–they simply exude joy.
For today’s Frabjous Friday post, I want to share a video of a dolphin seeking a diver’s help. It’s a different kind of joy to feel here–the amazing connection between two mammals from two very different worlds.
The diver was there to film stingrays, and the dolphin just swam up as if to say, “Um, excuse me…could you please free me of this hook and line?”
And that’s exactly what happened. Take a look.
[Email subscribers: please remember you will have to click through to my blog to view the clip.]
This dolphin knew enough to ask for help in his struggle.
We should, too.
So if you’ve got a hook and line that’s hurting you, maybe it’s time to find the right diver to set you free.
Sometimes all you need to do is ask.
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PS. If you have a few more minutes and would like to enjoy a “dolphin stampede” that is captured via drone video, watch below.
There is a movement afoot, and it is a vital one. It seems to me that we are finally accepting that the world is full of broken people, and it’s time we stopped pretending like we aren’t.
The reality that most (if not all) of us are stumbling along the path of life is nothing new, for sure, but I feel like the acknowledgement and embracing of it is new. Continue reading “Beautifully Broken”→
There is a tiny little space that can make all the difference in our relationships, according to The Book of Me. (That’s not really a book (yet) but it is more fun to say than “in my opinion.”) The results of creating this minute space can ripple far beyond the immediate.
What exactly is this space? I call it the Quiet Space—the time between listening to what someone has said to you and replying to it. It is that time where we have heard what the other person has said, processed it (at least in part), and thought about what our reply should be. Because our brains are so amazing, this only takes a moment, but it can be a truly powerful one.
I’ve lived enough years and paid enough attention to life to know that a common thing pretty much everyone wants is to feel truly heard—to be understood. I know I do. Maybe that’s why I love writing so…it is filled with quiet spaces of thought and a desire to be understood.
I also have enough self-awareness to know that I am guilty of thinking of the next thing I want to say rather than giving my full attention to the one speaking. This is particularly evident in an argument—when I am busy getting my next line of defense in order, rather than digesting what words are coming my way.
Very human…and also very frustrating.
If two people are not allowing for quiet space, they are merely speaking at each other, not to each other and will most likely find this as satisfying as slapping their respective heads against the wall. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there and have the flat foreheads to prove it.
With a little quiet space and a feeling of being understood, arguments can slow down and maybe even come to a resolution (a what?) rather than adding logs to the fire.
But the quiet space doesn’t just help end combat—it also acts as a net for those you love to know they can fall into.
Let’s peek in on this imaginary scenario: maybe you’re sipping a coffee at a local establishment doodling on your phone when the table next to you is having an intimate conversation. (I have to say, I think people at these places believe that each table is a soundproof room or something, because LOTS is shared…and loudly…so even though I want to play QI for the 3648 time on Words with Friends, I can’t help but overhear…)
The first friend shares, “I don’t know what to do. He said he’s done trying and wants out. I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
“Oh, it’ll be fine,” her friend responds. “He’s probably just trying to make a point. I can’t tell you how many times George has said something like that to me. I remember one time when…” and off she goes to tell her hurting friend about something from her own life, rather than truly digesting what her friend has said and responding to it.
Now, the “listener” isn’t a bad person…she’s just not letting her friend’s words get all the way into her heart. For whatever reason, we all too often respond with a “me, too” or a quick bit of advice, rather than letting the words sink in and register. With a little honoring of the quiet space, the chance to let some real compassion grow increases a bunch.
If the listener hears and processes why her friend is sharing, her response might take a totally different turn into something like, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No wonder you’re confused—this is tough stuff.”
And instead of just swapping marital war stories, the friend now feels as though she has a safe place to share her hurt.
I think this can move mountains when it comes to connecting with one another.
Think of the impact we can have in our daily lives and the lives of those we care about with a little more quiet space and a little less need to fill the void with our own next (very important!) words.
Some quiet space goes a long way in letting real communication happen. It gives us the chance to understand the other person and measure our own response. What a wonderful opportunity!
And there is no risk involved—only the promise of gain. What an awesome investment of time.
Don’t neglect the power of the quiet space. It is in fact the absence of an immediate response that can speak the loudest of all. You gotta love the irony.
Disney’s movie Frozen has a song in it called “Let It Go” that seems to have taken on a life of its own. I loved the movie, and I know my son enjoyed it, but…it obviously didn’t resonate with him the way it did with me.
In fact, as I was caught up in the story and song (and the new reclining lounge seats in the theater were a lovely bonus), he turned to me and said, “It’s good and all, but I think there’s too much singing.”
Well, Doug Downer, what’s up with that?
I’ve since read countless Facebook comments from my friends with little girls remarking that their daughters know the song by heart and won’t stop singing it. It is so popular that Disney re-released the movie in a sing-along version.
So…why? Why is this song so popular?
Well, just take a(nother) listen…
It is a captivating song about embracing your power and letting your fears go to become the person you were meant to be. Who doesn’t love that?
Yet it is definitely something that has caught on with girls more than boys. Granted, it’s not the typical movie that would become a boy’s favorite—after all, it is about two sisters (“ew!”) and their story, so it is not necessarily something that boys would gravitate toward, but I think there’s more to it.
Though Disney can’t seem to have a female lead that isn’t storybook gorgeous, the song’s message is not about embracing the power of your sexuality but rather your true gift…whatever that might be. If you notice in the clip, it doesn’t take Elsa long to hone that gift into amazing beauty once she decides to declare it.
And now, lookout people, because I’m about to go uber soapbox here.
We need to embrace who we are—all of us—but we need to particularly teach our girls that they need to embrace who they are and not try to fit into the cookie cutter mode of what is “expected” of women in this culture.
Maybe our girls are rocking out on it because they need to hear that it is okay to let it go and be themselves. Maybe they need to hear it more than we are saying it. Even in 2014.And maybe we grown women need to hear it, too.
Like the words in the song, we need to not care about what others say and let go of that “perfect girl” and the “good girl” and find out what beauty lies within us.
It seems like a non-argument to raise each other up for our true gifts and encourage our own truths, but that’s not what we as a society are teaching really, is it?
In this culture of celebrity and over-sexualized objectification, I think we have a lot more work to do.
I remember learning long ago how even in body language females are taught to “fold in” while males are taught to stretch out, and I find it to be true—women are encouraged in general to take up less space.
And then I see little six-year-old girls in dance class being taught how to bump and grind like grown women and wear full makeup and dress beyond their years, and I wonder what message they are taking away from that.
And girls who only want to be cheerleaders (go ahead and call it a sport, but it is rooted in cheering the boys on rather than participating in the sport itself) because they don’t want to “be a jock,” and I wonder why that label is so unappealing to them.
Please know that I am not saying that being a dancer or cheerleader is inherently wrong—but I do think that we need to pay attention to the messages that might lurk within.
After all—if that is the true gift for someone—to dance or do complex cheerleading mounts, then go for it! But if it is done because of “shoulds” and fears of not wanting to stand out in the “wrong” way, then I say we need to LET IT GO.
Let it go. Forget what the world sees in you or expects of you and look for what makes your heart truly beat…and then DO it.
Without apology. Without worry that you will be seen as less.
Because it is only when you let it go and let yourself be who God made you to be that you can be all the MORE you were meant to be.
Even if it means being out in the cold…just remember to tell yourself…
Today’s Frabjous Friday post is all about perspective.
Living in the Chicago area, let me diplomatically say this winter bites. I have pretty much had it with the snow. But in the video below, we get to see a little girl experience rain for the first time. What joy she has.
Share in it, my friends.
And let’s remember that after the harshness of winter comes the beauty of spring.
thejugglestruggle.net 