Today’s Frabjous Friday post is simple: I totally need to hear this song today.
Maybe you do, too.
I am so grateful for and so desperately in need of grace.
Maybe you are, too.
Thank God his grace finds us.
Thanks for this beautiful song, Matt Redman.
[Email subscribers: please remember you will have to click through to my blog to view the clip.]
When a new year comes, some people like to choose a word for themselves that will frame the year ahead. I have never been one to be so proactive and seek a “word of the year” for myself, but this year the word found me.
My friend Suzanne writes a beautiful blog, and one of her posts placed the word right in my lap. She had written a piece about the tragic loss of her friend’s son. In her beautiful way, Suzanne honored the young man and shared that, “Like a pebble skipped on the lake that Jake adored, his life created ripples that will continue forever.”
There it was.
Ripples.
Now, I have often used the word as a way to describe how the actions we take cause effects, etc., but sometimes when a word is placed in a certain context, it just jumps off the page and changes you.
Ripples.
It made me think about how I wanted to be more mindful of life’s ripples. Both the ripples that I create with my actions, and the ripples that touch me through others’ actions. It made me think and feel.
Interestingly enough, Suzanne and I became friends through someone else’s ripple effect. Our mutual friend Kathleen connected us, and though Kathleen has found her way Home, her touch continues to ripple into the lives of many, many people. Kathleen left ripples that, like Jake, will continue forever.
The film It’s a Wonderful Life has made its way into several of my posts, and I love it dearly. I think one of the many reasons it is my favorite movie is that from a very young age it helped me understand the power of ripples. If George Bailey had never been born, life would have been drastically different for many people—people he never understood he had an effect on because the ripples of life undulate long past our immediate surroundings.
And so, in 2014, my guiding word is ripples. What am I doing that is putting in motion ripples of kindness and compassion? What should I think twice about because it might ripple on in a way that could cause hurt? What will I do with my days that will reach out and leave someone feeling a little bit better about life?
My words and actions matter.
So do yours.
And so I will be even more thankful for the ripples of kindness shown to me. The sweet words from a friend who wants me to know I count. The way it feels when someone actually listens if I risk going beyond “I’m fine” when they ask how I am.
I will cherish the people in my life who truly connect with me in both giving and receiving—where it’s not just a one-way street that can leave me feeling as though I am the only one who cares.
I won’t forget how it felt when a friend and coworker made a meal for my family when my mom was in the hospital or the words of concern and care from another even though her own life is tossed on its head.
So often we can leave positive ripples by just being present and showing someone that they matter. And then what? How might that ripple continue on? We all know of stories about how someone offered care at a moment that, unbeknownst to them, was the breaking point for the other person, and the help came at a critical turning point.
We simply do not know all that others are dealing with. Our simple acts of kindness might leave more of an impact than we could have ever known.
A very dear friend of mine was a teacher for thirty years. She is one of the most caring people I’ve ever known. I can’t imagine how far her ripple extends in the lives she has touched both in and out of the classroom. I truly believe that for generations to come, her impact will be felt.
She is just one example of those I know who, if Clarence came down and showed them how the world would be without them, it would be a much sadder place.
Ripples…big or small…they extend out to the world. Who knows how far those ripples will undulate or where they might reach, but they matter.
God has each of us on this earth for our own personal, special reason. And though I’m still striving to understand mine, while I’m on the journey, I hope I am creating my own ripples of love and understanding…
one
little
pebble
of care
at a time.
Recently I joined a conversation between two women that had an all-too-familiar topic. The one woman was probably in her early 60s and the other in her 30s. Both were beautiful women, but the older one was sharing what she would have “done” if she could. She then proceeded to mention a couple areas of her body she disliked.
The topic morphed into what we would change if money or risk were no option. Sadly, we all had lists.
Why do we think this way about ourselves?
My ‘dislike’ list for myself is easy to answer and not lacking in numbers. It includes my nose, my thick thighs (well, it used to be just the thighs…now the thickness is less picky and more all-encompassing), my chubby thumbs, and much more.
And that’s just the list for physical attributes. There’s so much more to include if we want to go beyond looks.
Now ask me for the ‘like’ list, and…wait. For a while. Hmmm.
Why is it so easy to be critical and so hard to be loving to ourselves? Why is it that the bad wins big in our world of self-assessment?
Damned if I know.
What I do know is that it’s no good. It’s no good in a world that is already far too critical to add to the negative with a long list of personal dislikes.
We need to hit the ‘like’ button on ourselves.
Have you ever talked to a person who has shared a dislike about themselves that you don’t even notice? Or maybe you do see it but think it’s a beautiful part of who they are? And then you share that with them and you can tell that they don’t believe you?
We are too hard on ourselves.
And it doesn’t work in our favor, either. I may think that being tough on myself results in higher standards or creativity or productivity—or whatever. But the truth of the matter is it just adds to the failure pile.
It doesn’t add to our worth. In fact, it gives our sense of worth a kick in the ass.
Take something as silly as thumbs. My thumbs are short and chubby—just like my mom’s. I’ve had people call them club thumbs, toe thumbs, little fat thumbs, even penis thumbs (lovely)…I have been teased since I was a kid about those damn thumbs. They are indeed different. And all my life, I’ve looked at people with long, slender thumbs and envied them. What? That’s right—I have thumb envy.
Really? Is that a shortcoming (pun intended) that I actually need to feel shame about? Intellectually I know the answer is absolutely not. Emotionally…damn, I wish I had thumbs that could bend a full ninety degree angle.
As I have said here before, I often write on things that I need to hear, and today is certainly a day for that. I must admit that I need to hit the personal ‘like’ button more.
My husband will tell you that I am not great at accepting criticism from others, and that is true. Sometimes I think it’s because I’ve already given myself such a heavy dose of it that I am not willing to gladly accept any more, leaving me fairly defensive. Maybe it’s easier to battle back when it’s someone else doing the talking rather than my own head’s self-talk. Whatever the case, the irony is not lost on me.
Obviously, I don’t have any easy answers to offer here. I struggle with being hard on myself just like so many others do. But I do know I want to change that—that I need to change that. And I hope if you are someone who is reading this and thinking, “me, too!” that you will push yourself to snuggle up and love yourself no matter what. No matter what.
Now, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t strive to better ourselves in healthy ways—because we are all works in progress that can grow to be better throughout our lives. But when it comes to loving ourselves at the core, we should remember a key factor to begin with: God made us…and he loves us—and that ought to be a great place to start in accepting those chubby thumbs just as they are.
This is a beautiful but crazy season. More things to get done, more places to go, and more people to see. Highs and lows come swiftly, leaving you in a swirl. At least it’s been that way for me. Continue reading “Fra GEE lay Redux”
When I was little, I thought the saying was “taken for granite” instead of “granted.” And actually, there is truth to my misstated cliché. If you take something for granted, it’s a bit like believing it’s set in stone…when it’s not.
I’ve had major lessons in this throughout my life, and I’m thinking the same holds true for most people. That’s why sayings like “you don’t miss the water till the well runs dry” exist! Because we are taught over and again that reality doesn’t always align with our plan.
You think, assume, or hope your life is going to be one way, and then you see just how little “granite” has to do with anything. An early and major lesson on this front was losing a parent at a relatively young age. I had assumed my dad would be in my life much longer than he was—but that wasn’t in the plan. Big lesson in taking nothing for granted, right?
Apparently, though, I’m a hardhead. I seem to need reminders, and, as life would have it, I get plenty of them.
2013 has been one big, fat, ongoing reminder. It’s been like a droning lecture from a philosophy professor with long, crooked teeth and an ill-fitting tweed jacket. The kind of lecture where you try really hard in the beginning to take good notes and follow along but before long you find yourself slumped face down on your desk with drool on your hand, the taste of sleep in your mouth, and a huge crick in your neck. (College flashback, anyone?)
2013’s notes include lessons on not taking things like health, family, or employment for granted. Note to the Professor of Life: I get it. The lecture has sunk in. For now.
But unlike the outcome of the droning philosophy lecture, where the end result is probably a foggy understanding and a C+ on the exam, the upside of the life lesson is a renewed sense of blessing and appreciation.
The “granite” reminders continue their teaching with other formidable lessons…
When you need to box your way out of a tough situation, you learn who is in your corner.
When you have to pare away nonessentials…you learn what IS essential.
When you know how it feels to hurt to walk, you will make it your business to strive to run.
When your life garden is full of challenges, you see compassion bloom.
And when you see someone you love in pain, you focus outside yourself and remember the importance of both giving and receiving love and support.
The takeaways from a difficult year can be powerful, and as 2013 comes to a close, I’m calling it a honing year…All things work together for good…at least that is what I believe in and pray for.
I’m hoping I don’t need more reminders any time soon, though. Even for my thick head, I think I’ve had enough to last me for a while. But I am grateful that I am able to see the significance behind the struggles.
And if you are having a rough go of it, as so many people I know are, I hope that you, too, are able to find the meanings and blessings that bubble their way up through the muck. After all, the best “granite” we have to stand on is the faith in that which we cannot see.
Son of a nutcracker, do I love the movie Elf. Watching it with my family last night for the umpteenth time, I realized why this has become my second favorite Christmas movie (after It’s a Wonderful Life, of course):
Buddy the Elf has a passion for life that I want. He is full throttle in a world that is used to idling, and it’s contagious.
[Side note: if you have yet to see this movie, you need to. Not only will it make you smile, but this post might make more sense!]
Buddy is excited and curious and wonderfully open in a very jaded, guarded world. Every day is an adventure that he just can’t wait to begin.
His over-the-top enthusiasm is on full display in the mailroom scene, where he is talking to the ex-con who is adding “syrup” to his coffee. Before long, he is having a tickle fight with the guy and Russian dancing on the tabletop. Even former inmates melt with the zest that Buddy brings to life. (Yes, I’m sure the coffee-spiking helped smooth the rough edges, too, but I doubt there would be table dancing in the absence of our exuberant elf).
Elf’s childlike qualities don’t mean he is one-dimensional, though. His life hasn’t been one big success after another. He has been an oddball since he was a child—and then he gets sprung from one world where he doesn’t quite fit right into another. And without getting too ridiculously analytical about a lighthearted Christmas movie, he also has to face the fact that the world and father he thought he knew aren’t really his—and leave to face rejection from his “real” dad. Not exactly a walk in the park—in fact, walks in the park with Buddy can result in getting mauled by an angry raccoon who is simply not interested in hugging it out.
He could have let the world beat him down and lose his joy, but Buddy’s spirit is indomitable. Whether he’s having a blast discovering a revolving door or trying to put the angel on top of the Christmas tree, Buddy is all in.
And couldn’t we all stand to be a bit more like that? I know I could. What’s wrong with singing loud for all to hear or putting “snuggle” on your ToDo list? Not one darn thing.
Buddy’s enthusiasm and openness offers hope in a cynical world of disbelief. And, thankfully, that goodness has a ripple effect on those around him. The good guys win this round. Santa’s sleigh gets the lift it needs, and everyone is a little better off for taking a few notes from a big green and yellow tights-wearing elf who likes to put maple syrup on his spaghetti.
Yes, I know it is not as simple as that. After all, it IS a movie. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t remind ourselves that there is beauty in the unaffected approach to life. That looking at the world with fresh eyes helps us to see things that we otherwise would have missed with our world-weary blinders on.
And what better time to remember this than the Christmas season, where there is so much magic to enjoy and embrace?
So go find an escalator to explore or a snowball fight to engage in or someone to hug…The clock is ticking, and there’s a wide world out there with plenty of cotton balls for you to eat.
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