I have some serious sarcasm flowing through my veins. It’s nothing I aim for—it’s just there—and I imperfectly strive to keep it in check.
I remember making jokes in 4th grade, and—though the kids were laughing—sometimes I would hear, “You’re mean.” I didn’t intend to be, but since my humor could be at someone else’s expense, at the very least I was mean to that person. I’ve remembered that always. I don’t want to be mean—I just enjoy making people laugh. I know what it feels like to be the butt of someone’s joke, and I don’t want to create that feeling for another.
But I fail, for sure. Sometimes the laugh apples are hanging so low off the tree I can’t help but pick ‘em. Still, that’s no excuse. (Sometimes, though, when a person’s being a major jagwad, I don’t feel bad when I shoot a caustic arrow his or her way…That’s probably still wrong, but it can feel like a kind of justice—especially when it’s on someone else’s behalf.)
And while I am still guilty of sharp comments, I learned long ago that there is a perfect subject for me to make fun of: me. So I am my own best target. And when I make fun of myself, I totally get it and don’t get mad. And since I am the butt of many of my own jokes, it explains why I have a big butt. So it all makes sense.
When I had my son, I thought to myself, “If there was one word you could pick to have as a descriptor of this kid as he grows up, what would you want it be?” My immediate response was kind. Not nice, but kind. (Don’t get me wrong—as Frank Burns said, “It’s nice to be nice to the nice,” I know…but that’s not enough.) Nice is pleasant and obliging…but kind is compassionate and helpful. At least that’s how I see it. Kind runs deep and is grounded in loving others.
We need more kindness. Mean people suck. And it’s not just about being mean for a laugh. I’m really sick at heart when I see how easy it is for people to be nasty with their comments—both in the real world and the cyber world. The Internet has afforded an anonymity to people to just be horrible to one another as they comment on articles, blogs, and videos. Just awful…and for what? How is that okay? This past election season nasty comments didn’t even need anonymity. Facebook was rife with cutting and mean-spirited crap from both sides of the aisle. It really made me sad…and still does.
It’s simply not okay. And while we are all human and will all fail at times, in “The World According to Lisa” (which is super awesome), we need to strive harder to see to it that the Meanies lose. Just imagine what our world might be like if kindness reigned supreme…if the whole world played a game of Kindness Tag…Tag! I’ve tagged you with kindness! You’re it! Go be kind to another! (And tag-backs would totally be allowed!)
But we can’t depend on the “whole world” for anything, can we?…So it’s up to us in our own little world…where it still absolutely matters. And maybe it will ripple out and impact more than you could ever possibly know.
I hope you agree. But if you don’t, I hope you’ll be kind in telling me so!
No More Meanies!
I do agree. But if i don’t, I will be kind in telling you so !! 😉
I see you don’t use the LIKE button. Is this on purpose or can I help you to get it working ?
It is on purpose, Ralph, but thank you for your very KIND offer! 🙂
You are very welcome. 😀
I love this. I like the idea of focusing on our own small worlds, because we really can thrive in kindness there, seeing it affect situations and others (and, hopefully, it will spread). I get so sad when I overhear people at work saying mean things about others behind their backs. I am going to try to tag someone with kindness!!
Thanks, Punky! It is indeed amazing what goes these days…but let’s start a revolution, shall we?
I hate meanies. Totally agree. And I am sarcastic and feel bad when some don’t understand and think I’m mean. I really don’t feel very mean but ah we’ll…
Every day when I watch Ellen on my DVR, I can’t press the delete button until she says, “Be kind to one another.” There’s a lot to be said for that sentiment.
I found you through Punky (I think… this tab has been open on my computer for a while). But I really liked this. As a fairly sarcastic person myself, I had to learn how to tone it down. I’m a New Yorker… that’s just how we are. And when I met my husband, he said, “I really like you, but…. could you possibly be a little less mean?” I really stopped and took a look at what I was saying, and I try very hard to change my tone.
Anyway, my point is, I like this. Very much. No sarcasm at all.
Thanks so much, H. Stern. I’m pretty sure I came to your blog via Punky, too, so I thank her for that. In fact, I’m heading back to it to comment on your VDay post that I just read… 🙂