Tag: society

The Ramblings of a Mad Woman

~ Lisa Ancona-Roach ~ 2 Comments

It’s been a while since I put fingers to keyboard to share my thoughts in this space, with a major reason being that our “muzzle velocity” reality broke my brain — and my heart…just as intended.

Steve Bannon used the term in 2019 about the media — “flood the zone” to overwhelm them so they can’t cover all that’s being done and they’ll “never be able to recover.” But it’s more than that — we’ve lived in nonstop thing-after-thing-after-thing-after-thing-after-thing for over ten years now, and…

…it’s like getting pelted by some sort of jacked-up tennis ball machine that’s firing spiked balls of malevolence at you non-stop…until eventually you crumple into a duck-and-cover heap because all that’s left is the bloody pulp of exhaustion and pain.

It’s debilitating…Just as intended.

And it seems like what the masses can “tolerate” just keeps getting pushed further and further with every passing news cycle. (Don’t get me started on the Cornell 7 and how the sitting president feels bad for them. There’s just so many things not to get me started on…)

Long ago, I wanted to write about how we aren’t even seeing the awfulness in the term “the worst of the worst,” but I couldn’t get myself to focus enough to do so. But let me just say here: You see it, right?

The worst of the worst.

So many people are okay with using that phrase as a satisfactory approach to immigration “reform” — or ICE activities. “Hey — they’re only going after the worst of the worst…As long as they’re just going after the criminals, (which, btw, we know isn’t true) I’m good with that…”

But when you say “worst of the worst,” what you are saying is that…immigrants are the worst…and the worst of them are the criminal immigrants.

Whenever I have this conversation with someone, they are like, “Wow…I never thought of it that way…” I’m not sure why that is the case, but I do know that the desensitization we have all experienced through the thing-after-thing onslaught — and the normalizing of dehumanizing language, and the witnessing of such crazy awful things like putting people in cages and blowing up boats and schools and encouraging American cities to be attacked and the livestreaming of firing squad murders — is horrific for our souls.

And through this overexposure to awful, too many have become too comfortable with nasty vitriol and smug contempt. Yes…both sides have been guilty of it, but I cannot accept that this is an “equal issue” — the stakes are very different. When I watched Fox “News” during my news coverage comparison experiment, I realized that their “news”casters had such condescension and smugness any time they referred to anything left of hard right while omitting facts and curating footage…it is more than disappointing. It is downright dangerous. They feed people diets of hate and lies that have fostered a mindset that helped put those in power who have done the awful I have referenced…and more.

This “new world” has left me nearly devoid of hope…

But…

My son works for a campaign of a young person with a good heart. The campaign is thriving with the strength of young people…And the stories my son tells me about the people still fighting for good…

He — and they — give me hope.

And as we are less than a month away from the midterms, I am trying to gather myself as best I can here to lift my voice and say VOTE.

Vote early if you can so that the lines are shorter for those who can’t — and for many more reasons.

I wrote and originally posted the piece below, “A Crazy Little Fairy Tale…or Is It?” in December 2020… just a few weeks before the Jan 6. It felt like an almost eerie prophecy after that, and — while I don’t want to give myself too much credit — when I revisit it, the prophecy and analogy continue to evolve in meaning — at least to me. It is just more horrific. What was originally a certain level of destruction, debasing of norms, and fraud has grown into concentration camps, the destabilization of the world economy, war, billions in grifted wealth, and the genuine risk of the death of democracy.

I’m not sure if truth can return as a reality and value in this “post truth era”… but I refuse to give up when people like my son and all of the people who are working hard to take care of each other and do what is right are still fighting, too.

So…VOTE…like democracy depends on it.

Because it does.

The ship IS on fire. But we CAN come to the rescue. 

VOTE.

A crazy little fairy tale…or is it?

(Originally posted December 2, 2020)

There was a captain of a ship who was fired from his job and told to—as his contract states—finish his voyage and then leave. Rather than accepting this and behaving professionally, he claims that he was not fired and tells all the passengers that he is being attacked. He threatens to just keep the ship out at sea. The company tells him they can prove that all protocols were followed in his firing, but he dismisses them and continues to tell the passengers he is being attacked. Many of the passengers believe him. Many more don’t. They just want to get back to land safely and return to their lives. Arguments ensue. There are a handful of elite passengers who have enjoyed all the special perks the captain has given them on their voyage, so they go along with his cries of being attacked as they continue to enjoy their VIP privileges.

While all of this is going on, the captain is ransacking the ship and taking whatever he can. He tells the passengers who believe him to fight for him. He tells them that the passengers who don’t agree with them are losers and part of the conspiracy against him. The captain-followers are enraged by this and ask the captain what they should do. He tells them to keep fighting for him and to give him money.

They do.

In the meantime, when he starts to realize that he can’t keep his job unless he stays out at sea…but that he can’t stay out at sea or they will die, he comes up with a plan. Since he will never admit failure, he will instead bring down one of the most glorious ships ever made as a way to show his strength. He reaches out to the elites to coordinate the destruction of the ship. These special few will escape on lifeboats while the masses go down with the ship. Since the captain is letting them take whatever they want with them, they go along with the plan.

So…while the captain-following passengers are busy attacking and fighting the other passengers, the captain goes around starting little fires that he fans into bigger ones. The elites are busy blocking exits and locking doors. The fires catch hold and start to cripple the ship. Some of the captain-following passengers see the fire but the captain just tells them that it will keep them warm and to go on fighting.

They do.

When the other passengers smell smoke, find the fires, and try to put them out, they realize it is too late. They try to run to the lifeboats, but thanks to the elites, they are trapped.

As this horror takes place below deck, the captain and the elites are filling all the extra lifeboats with their stolen goods and launching themselves away from the sinking ship. They watch the ship now fully engulfed in flames. They don’t seem to see it as a tragedy. After all, they made some serious money because of it. How can that be a tragedy? If anything, it is an “unfortunate byproduct” of their newfound additional wealth.  

The captain watches the flames in amazement. “Look at that,” he tells the elites. “Isn’t that the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? No one has ever sunk a ship that big before. No one. I’m the only one.” One of the elites piped up, “Yes, Captain…this has to be the biggest sabotage the world has ever seen.”

“Damn right,” the captain spat. “This will be my legacy.”

Unity—Is That What We Really Want?

~ Lisa Ancona-Roach ~ 10 Comments

I don’t.

There’s no way I want to be unified with white supremacists or Nazis. Or people who are devoted to pushing others down in the false hope that they will stand taller. Or with anyone who takes delight in others’ suffering.  Continue reading “Unity—Is That What We Really Want?” →

Dear Country: Please Get Counseling After This Election

~ Lisa Ancona-Roach ~ 4 Comments

“You’ve spent a lot of time preparing for the wedding—but what have you done to prepare for the marriage?” is a question brides and grooms are asked when they take a marriage preparation class. So much emphasis is put on “the big day” that “the big life after” can get lost in the hoopla of chiffon and champagne.

Continue reading “Dear Country: Please Get Counseling After This Election” →

What in the Holy Hell, People?! Were You Raised By Wolves?

~ Lisa Ancona-Roach ~ 7 Comments

I’m mad and sad a lot these days. I am overwhelmed by the nasty balls people have in how they speak to and about others. I’m slack-jawed. Dumbfounded. Appalled. Gobsmacked. Nauseous. Heartbroken. Continue reading “What in the Holy Hell, People?! Were You Raised By Wolves?” →

Reclaiming the Other F Word

~ Lisa Ancona-Roach ~ 10 Comments

“Oh, you’re one of those…” is a phrase I hear more often than I would ever expect to in this day and age. See, I’m a hyphenator. I chose to hyphenate my last name when I got married, and according to the kinds of responses I sometimes get, that makes me “difficult.”

That’s right—I wanted to keep my family name along with taking my husband’s last name. Pretty crazy, I know. But I never thought that that choice would carry with it a judgment for some people—and a negative one at that.

While women may have “come a long way, baby,” we still have a lot further to go. As I was thinking about this today, I decided to YouTube the old Virginia Slims commercial that made that phrase so popular. Ironically, the expression that came to symbolize women’s progress is merely trying to capitalize on making women want to smoke feminine cigarettes and be sexy while doing it. Progress indeed.

In my lifetime, I’ve learned that I better be careful in calling myself a feminist. That in doing so, it made me “anti-male” and bitchy. Though there may be a small contingent of women who call themselves feminists and claim that women are the superior gender, all I ever wanted was equality—as most feminists do. The only “anti” I am is anti-discrimination. If men were making less than women, having laws telling them what they can and can’t do with their bodies, being restricted from education in parts of the world, or dealing with the pervasiveness of sexual assault, I would be against that, too.

I am so happy to see the movement toward taking away the negative connotations of the word feminism and reclaiming it as the movement toward gender equality.

Emma Watson—the woman who brought the amazing Hermoine Granger to life—spoke so eloquently on this to the United Nations (that’s right, the U.N., baby!) As the U.N. Women Goodwill Ambassador, she is launching a campaign called HeForShe where the goal is to empower both women and men to be who they are and to be treated equally. Simply put, she’s awesome.

The video is over 12 minutes, but…if you’ve got the time, it’s definitely worth a listen.

 

 

Another campaign that strives to empower young women is Always’ Like a Girl campaign. If you haven’t seen the video, check it out:

 

 

It shows the subtle—or not so subtle—undercutting of gender that happens without thought…and how young girls and boys can get the message that “like a girl” means “less than.”

I experienced a real life demonstration of how this message gets absorbed by young women over the summer. Every year we go to a beautiful place in the Northwoods of Wisconsin where we see other vacationing families every year. Because I only get a glimpse of these folks annually, it is fun to see how the kids grow from year to year. But this past summer disturbed me a great deal. Girls who had only last year been happy to take to the softball field in a boys vs girls game and give it their best effort were now acting incapable and flighty. One girl let a ball roll right by her and said she didn’t want to break a nail…seriously. And, much to my dismay, that kind of behavior was consistent throughout the week.

What had happened in a year? Somehow they got the message that being strong and athletic was not feminine or desirable. It broke my heart because I knew that it had only been the previous summer that they were embracing their strength—and now they were not only downplaying it, but denying it.

When I see homecoming photos posted on Facebook of lovely groups of young women—all wearing pretty much the exact same barely mid-thigh dress, give or take the color—I realize how strong the pressure must be to meet society’s current expectations of the popular woman. Good luck trying to find a dress for that age that strays from the “standard”—and the question arises as to whether it is a case of supply and demand or demand and supply. What’s available in stores “teaches” us what we should look like.

In 2014, the fact that girls are getting the message that it is their fault if they get raped because they were drunk should be inconceivable—but it’s not. So strong is that attitude that the White House has launched a campaign to fight against it:

 

 

We’ve got to not only raise our girls to stand strong but raise our boys to embrace that strength and respect it.

Anything less isn’t right. It just isn’t.

People should be paid equally for the same work. People should have sovereignty over their bodies. People should have the opportunity to be educated. People shouldn’t have to worry about being sexually assaulted. People should be respected for who they are and what they do. People should be encouraged to reach their potential. People should be loved, accepted, and valued for who they are—not what they look like.

Replacing the word “women” with “people” makes it really hard to deny, doesn’t it?

That’s the true heart of feminism. That’s what we need to reclaim. That’s what both women and men—what humanity—should strive for. Anything less is just fear trying to keep others down. And we’re better than that, don’t you think?

Well, we should be.

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